Self-Made Millionaire Says Ramit Sethi’s Advice to Frugal Millionaires Is Misguided
Financial advisors, finance personalities like Ramit Sethi, and even random people online love to tell frugal, self-made millionaires to spend more. They think it’s helpful advice. They think it’ll make us happier.
But they’re not us. They didn’t grow up the way we did. They haven’t built what we’ve built. They assume we’re holding back because we’re afraid, or because we just don’t know how to enjoy our money. None of that is true.
So let’s talk about it. I’ll break down why this advice misses the point, what people like me actually believe about money and happiness, and how being frugal is a strength, not something to fix.
Table of Contents
The Problem With Spending Advice for Frugal Millionaires
Most of this advice comes from the outside looking in. It’s based on how other people feel about spending, not how we do. The issue isn’t math. It’s mindset. And they’re usually wrong about both.
Let’s start with the most common things they assume about us, and why they don’t hold up.
The Myth That We’re Afraid of Running Out
That’s the classic guess. That we don’t spend because we’re scared we’ll lose it all. Maybe that’s true for someone new to wealth or with unstable income. But for most of us who built this the slow way, through work, saving, investing, it’s not fear. It’s awareness.
I’m not afraid of running out. I’ve run the numbers, lived below my means, and have more cash than I’ll ever need. I’m not hoarding. I’m just not chasing.
Most early retirees are financially set and under-interested in the spending game.
Related: How Much Do You Actually Need To Retire Early? The Simple Math Behind Early Retirement
The Idea That We Don’t Know How to Enjoy Life
Another assumption is that we need permission to “live a little.” That we’re missing out. That someone needs to show us how to enjoy money. That’s condescending at best.
I know exactly what I enjoy. And most of it isn’t for sale. I enjoy time. I enjoy peace. I enjoy not needing things to feel satisfied.
Spending more isn’t some secret to joy. It’s just someone else’s way of coping. I don’t need it.
How Growing Up Frugal Shapes the Way We Spend Today
There’s a story behind every frugal person, and it usually starts early. For me, it came from watching my parents treat every dollar like it mattered.
That mindset doesn’t fade when the money shows up, it becomes part of who you are.
It Was Never About Fear, It Was About What We Valued
I grew up poor. My dad started a business and put everything back into it. My mom made some of my clothes. When he sold the business and retired in his 30s, our financial life changed, but the habits stayed.
My mom never got comfortable spending, even when she could. And I didn’t either.
My wife had a similar story. She also grew up without money. Even today, I had to push her a little to buy a rug and a phone. That wasn’t fear, it was learned behavior.
Spending felt unnecessary because happiness never came through stuff. We were taught to enjoy life in ways that didn’t cost anything.
We Didn’t Just Learn Frugality, We Learned Fulfillment
This isn’t about scarcity. It’s about how we grew up finding joy in what we had. And when you grow up that way, you don’t crave more, you feel free with less.
People who didn’t live that way don’t always understand it. They think we’re missing something. But the truth is, we already found it. And it didn’t come with a receipt.
Related: My Relationship with Money: The Hoarder Mentality That Led to Early Retirement
What Most People Get Wrong About Frugal Self-Made Millionaires
The people giving this advice aren’t trying to be rude. They just don’t get it. They don’t understand how we think, what we value, or why more spending doesn’t solve anything for us.
These aren’t flaws to fix. They’re features. This is how financial independence actually works when you’ve built it from the ground up.
Spending Doesn’t Give Us a Dopamine Hit
Some people chase the rush of buying. Swipe the card, get a hit. Buy the upgrade, feel better, until they need the next thing. That cycle never started for me.
I never trained my brain to crave spending. And that’s the point. I’ve learned how to live without needing a financial hit to feel good.
That’s not deprivation, it’s control. That’s the superpower.
We Learned How to Be Happy With Less
Growing up, I didn’t have much. But I didn’t feel poor. I learned to find joy in simple things because that’s all we had. That mindset didn’t go away when the money showed up. It just stuck.
I don’t need a bigger house, more gadgets, or luxury brands to feel good about my life. I’m already happy. Spending more won’t improve it. It’ll just add noise.
Buying Stuff Adds Problems, Not Joy
I want an RV. But I don’t want to deal with storing it, maintaining it, insuring it, or watching it sit 340 days a year. That’s not happiness, that’s work.
I have a 2,500 sq ft house. I could easily afford double that. But a 5,000 sq ft house just means more to clean, more to fix, more to heat, more to manage.
Same with a $100K car. I could pay cash for a few, but they don’t solve anything. They just create new problems.
We also made this related Video: Stealth Wealth Tips: Become Rich, Without Anyone Knowing
Frugal People Know When It’s Enough
We don’t aim for perfect, we aim for enough. The house works. The car runs. The life fits. That’s the win. Chasing upgrades wastes time and money.
I could spend more on anything. I just don’t need to. When you know how to stop, you get to keep more of your time, energy, and peace. That’s value.
FOMO Isn’t a Factor for Us
Fear of missing out is a sales tactic. It keeps people running in circles, thinking they’re missing something. I’m not missing anything. I’ve opted out.
When someone posts their luxury trip or new toy, I don’t feel behind. I feel fine. I’ve built a life I don’t want to escape from.
That’s what they don’t understand, we’re not trying to keep up. We already got out.
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Why Spending Advice Feels So Off for Frugal Millionaires
Most of the time, this advice doesn’t come from a bad place. But it’s still way off. It’s not based on how we actually think. It’s based on how the rest of the world reacts to money, and assumes we do too.
That’s why it doesn’t work. It’s not just bad advice. It’s advice aimed at people who aren’t us.
It’s Projection Disguised as Guidance
People see our frugality and assume it’s a flaw. That we’re unhappy. That we must be stressed. But what they’re really doing is projecting their own issues with money onto us.
They’re wired to equate happiness with spending. So when we don’t spend, they assume we’re missing something. They can’t imagine being satisfied without it, so they think we can’t be either. That’s not our problem.
Generic Advice Doesn’t Fit Financial Independence
The kind of advice being handed out is built for a different crowd. It works for someone who stumbled into money and doesn’t know what to do with it. Or someone who’s still living on someone else’s terms.
But that’s not who we are. Most of us who hit early retirement didn’t do it by accident. We planned it. We earned it. And we built a lifestyle that already fits.
We don’t need more spending tips, we need people to stop assuming we’re broken.
We also made this related Video: If I Listened To “Good Advice,” I Would Not Have Retired At 42
The Power of Being Content
This is what most advice completely misses: we’re already content. Not because we’ve given up. Because we’ve figured out what matters, and stopped chasing everything else.
There’s power in being done. Not paused. Not holding back. Done.
We’re Not Waiting for Permission to Say No
People keep trying to give us permission to spend. As if we’re waiting for it. We’re not. We know what we want. And more often than not, we already have it.
I don’t need someone to tell me it’s okay to buy the nicer version or upgrade the trip. I already know I can. I just don’t want to. That’s not guilt. That’s clarity.
Related: I Retired at 42: How I Think Differently Than People Still Working
Real Freedom Means Turning Down More, Not Buying More
FIRE isn’t just about not working. It’s about not needing. It’s about being able to say “no thanks” to things that don’t move the needle. That’s the win.
Spending more for the sake of spending doesn’t make us feel free. Saying no does. That’s where the real power is, being able to walk away and feel nothing but peace.
The Real Reason Frugal Millionaires Ignore Spending Advice
We don’t need to prove anything with our money. We’ve already bought back our time, our peace, and our freedom. Spending more won’t make us happier, it’ll just give us more to manage.
Most people can’t understand that, and that’s fine. We’re not living for their approval, we’re living on our terms.
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